


The Housewarming Party

by dracogotgame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Drarry on the Side, Dudley is a stud, Kinda Cracky, M/M, Rare Pairings, Still fun though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracogotgame/pseuds/dracogotgame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theo needs to find a muggle gift for Draco's housewarming party. He finds a little something else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Housewarming Party

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is primarily a Theo Nott/Piers Polkiss pairing, with Harry/Draco on the side. If this is not a pairing you'd like to see, please don't read further.

It was official. Muggles were _insane._

 

Theo for one, had had enough of the ‘mall’. This was the last time he sought Pansy’s advice for anything. He didn’t care how cute muggle fashions were, this place was bloody _terrifying_.

 

He finally managed to shake off the salesgirl who had been stalking him for the past ten minutes. At one point, she had spotted him eyeing a stack of shiny chrome boxes called ‘microwaves’ and provided him with a verbal list of frankly terrifying sounding features. Theo refused to believe that those things were for cooking purposes. Anything that came equipped with ‘automatic sensors’, ‘a state of the art control panel’ and ‘radiation scanners’ belonged in a nationwide defence operation, not a shopping aisle. Stupid, scary boxes with their beeping and pinging and swirly tray things...

 

And that was another thing. _What_ was with this fascination with boxes? It seemed that wherever he looked, there was another box just waiting for him. Boxes within other boxes, boxes upon other boxes, boxes on top of boxes that were inside other boxes! Some of the boxes were stuck on the walls, replaying events of the day— sort of like the Witch Wireless Network, he supposed. Other boxes were blaring loud music at him. But perhaps the strangest boxes were the ones the Muggles were carrying on their persons. Seriously, almost everybody here had one— palm sized, shiny rectangles that they poked and prodded and spoke into. It was starting to freak Theo out.

 

He finally sought refuge in the entertainment aisle, taking a moment of respite to curse Draco Malfoy to the depths of hell and back. It was _his_ fault Theo was being subjected to this horrible excursion in the first place.

 

_“Bring a muggle gift for the housewarming; Theo. Harry wants our new home to have the best of both worlds, Theo.”_

 

Oh, alright fine— so maybe Draco didn’t sound quite that high pitched and whiny but Theo wasn’t feeling particularly charitable. He hadn’t even wanted to go to the stupid party in the first place. Draco and Potter were in a particularly nauseating stage in their relationship. However, not going would have been perceived as a sure sign of weakness.

 

Theo had been sort of seeing Draco for a while before the latter hitched his wagon to Potter. It hadn’t been anything serious— a fling between mates. Draco’s departure from his life had hardly broken his heart or anything. Nevertheless, the fact remained that Draco was moving in with his new boyfriend and Theo was single and alone. Among Slytherins, image was everything and therefore, not attending Draco’s stupid party was not an option.

 

That deep insight however, did nothing for his current predicament. He couldn’t really leave this blighted store until he found something suitably muggle and horrendously expensive. Theo promptly went back to cursing Draco— and Potter, for good measure — as he sullenly looked over a medium sized box labelled _Call of Duty: Black Ops 2_.

 

“No, Big D. I have to say I really _don’t_ understand.”

 

Theo jumped as the loud, boisterous voice rang out from right behind him. He promptly dropped _Call of Duty._ By the time Theo retrieved it, he was no longer alone in the entertainment aisle.

 

“No, really. Please do explain why _I_ have to go to your poofter cousin’s party,” the muggle exclaimed, running a hand through his dark hair as he spoke cheerfully to his shiny rectangle. Theo was starting to suspect there was someone at the other end. Was it like a Floo?

 

“Yes, I bloody well _can_ say ‘poofter’ if I want to,” the muggle went on. “Well for starters, because I’m gay too. How’s that for check and mate, Double D? No, I won’t stop calling you that. It’s funny, that’s why.”

 

There was an agitated buzzing from the rectangle and Theo could just make out the faintest sound of a second voice. So it did work like  a Floo. Interesting. Was there a way to see the caller’s face through the rectangle? He wondered if...

 

“Can you believe this guy?”

 

Theo started with surprise as he realised the muggle was speaking to _him_. Sharp, dark eyes were suddenly trained on him, intense and expectant. For a second, Theo wasn’t sure what to do or say. Did all muggles just strike up conversations with complete strangers while in the middle of another conversation?

 

“Two hours notice, he gives me,” the muggle ranted, apparently on some sort of trip of his own. He gestured agitatedly to his rectangle, _still_ addressing Theo for some reason.“Two hours to find a gift for a bloke who doesn’t even like me. I used to stick his head in the toilet, for Christ’s sake! And...what? No, I wasn’t talking to you, Dudley. Some bloke in the store. I don’t know, he looks kinda cute.”

 

Theo flushed with embarrassment at being discussed so openly, so _rudely_. He scowled but the muggle just grinned and winked at him, blithely carrying on with his incessant jabbering.

 

“No, fuck that. I’m not getting him a lamp. Because nobody is _that_ gay, Dudley! We chased the bloke up a tree once, the least we can do is get him a decent present. Yeah well, screw you too. We’re getting him an Xbox.”

 

Great. Another box. Just what Theo needed right now.

 

He rolled his eyes and started to walk away, leaving the muggle to his chaotic devices. He had his own gift to worry about anyway. At least the muggle knew what he wanted and…

 

“Oi, Brown Eyes! Wait up a second!”

 

Theo turned around instinctively, his eyes widening as the muggle came running over to him. Again? What was with this bloke?

 

He skidded to a halt about an inch from Theo, who stepped back automatically to protect his personal space. The muggle didn’t seem to notice his defensive retreat. He just grinned, panting and holding his side as he held something out for Theo.

 

“You left this back there,” he explained.

 

Theo blinked as _Call of Duty_ was thrust into his hands. “Oh,” he managed. “Thank you? I...wasn’t really planning on buying it.”

 

“Why the hell not?” the muggle demanded, sounding a bit affronted. “Mate, it does _not_ get better than COD, believe me.”

 

“Er…”

 

“Unless you’re one of those hard core RP gamers— you like the whole role-playing thing? You do look like a World of Warcraft sort, no offence.”

 

Theo was not offended. He was too busy being confused instead. There had been nothing in that sentence he even remotely understood, although the word ‘role-play’ had definitely come up. Theo blushed again. He wasn’t a prude but such things were not discussed in polite society where he came from. Were all muggles this outspoken and direct?

 

No, somehow he didn’t think so. It was just _this_ muggle. He was different.

 

There wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy about him. He was thin— almost skinny— with dark, shaggy hair and sharp, pointed features. A bit like Draco, come to think of it. But then again, not really. No, Draco had this _stiffness_ about him — the kind of confidence that comes with an inborn sense of entitlement. This bloke was possibly the exact opposite. Bright and cheerful, unassuming and unremarkable. His cheeky grin and glinting eyes spoke of hidden mischief. Mischief he knew he could get away with because he was just _so_ ordinary. What must that be like, Theo wondered. What must it be like to be so free and unfettered and…

 

“I’m Piers, by the way,” the muggle said, holding out his hand. “Piers Polkiss. Probably should have mentioned that earlier.”

 

Theo blinked at the offered hand, then took it hesitantly. Why not? It was a brave new world, after all. “Theodore Nott,” he replied politely.

 

“Theodore Nott,” Piers repeated slowly, apparently testing the name. “Very posh. So Teddy, what brings you to our humble little shopping centre?”

 

Theo’s eyes narrowed as he tried to gauge if he was being made fun of. “I prefer Theo, thanks,” he replied stiffly. “And if you must know, I was trying to find a gift for a friend. He’s moving so…” He trailed off and shrugged, not particularly interested in elaborating further.

 

Piers made a face. “Small world, eh? Me too. Although I wouldn’t necessarily call him a friend. But he’s my best mate’s cousin and apparently I just _have_ to be there for some reason. Anyway, you want to look together?”

 

“I…”

 

“Oh come on,” Piers half insisted, half pleaded. “I really don’t want to faff about here all by myself. Besides, you could use some help.”

 

Theo bristled defensively. “I’m fine,” he protested. “I don’t need your...”

 

“Yeah? Which OS do you use? Is it compatible with COD or will you have to upgrade?”

 

Theo stared dazedly and Piers smirked, taking his arm and leading him off. “I thought so. Come on, Theo. Let’s blow your mind.”

 

* * *

 

 

An hour later, Piers was busy fending off impatient shoppers and an increasingly irate store clerk while Theo went about expanding his horizons.

 

“Theo, we have to go now,” he attempted for the fourth time in ten minutes.

 

“Wait just a second, will you? I almost have him!”

 

“Yes, I can see that. But see, that kid over there would like a turn too and...”

 

“Let him get his own Xbox!”

 

Piers sighed and shook his head. “I’ve created a monster,” he muttered. Theo ignored him and viciously went about decimating the invading army. Piers gave up on reasoning with him and tugged firmly at his arm. “Come on, Theo. It’s time to let someone else have a turn…”

 

Theo scowled petulantly as he was all but dragged off the fascinating device. He elicited a huff of protest as his soldier went down in a haze of fire. Damn it! He was so close! Nevertheless, he allowed Piers to pull him away without anymore complaints.

 

“You know,” Piers informed him as they left the store. “They put those up in the store so you can try them out before deciding to _buy_ one. Not so you can play on them for hours. You my friend, have made enemies in the gaming section.”

 

“But it was so amazing!” Theo protested, cradling his newly purchased COD box set and looking back longingly. “It was all so real! It was like I was there with the shooting and the buttons and...does _everyone_ have one of those?”

 

“We passed a law last week,” Piers told him, nodding seriously. He laughed when Theo’s eyes widened in delight. “You know, you’re a strange sort. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”

 

“I’ve...never met anyone like you either,” Theo replied quietly. He really hadn’t. Theo came from such a reserved, restricted world. All he had ever been taught was that he could do magic, it made him superior to muggles and that was that. He had never questioned the concept, it was all he had ever known. But meeting Piers had thrown his whole view of the world into a loop.

 

It was such a revelation— there was so _much_ muggles knew that he didn’t. These weren’t inferior beings at all. If anything, their ideas, inventions and outlook on life made them superior in a way. It was baffling, all that they had achieved without the use of magic. That sort of thing took courage, and more importantly ambition. Theo was Slytherin to the bone. He could appreciate ambition.

 

And Piers...Piers was something else. He had an opinion on everything and he defended it vociferously. Theo had been treated to a twenty minute lecture on why Doctor Who is and will forever be, the greatest creation in the history of television. Perhaps later, he would get a dictionary to learn what half of those words meant. In the meantime however, he would continue being fascinated by this strange muggle boy. Piers didn’t exercise caution. He didn’t play games and he didn’t put up appearances. He did and said as he pleased and he expected people to deal with it. It was a different kind of confidence— not one born of legacy or family or where one came from. No, Piers just believed right down to his bones that he had merit. Because he was Piers.

 

It was brilliant and somewhat terrifying, but Theo wanted to see more of it. He _wanted_ to see more of this bright, cheeky young man with his undaunted confidence and seemingly endless supply of muggle pop culture references.

 

Piers grinned at him and checked his watch. His eyes widened and he swore. “Fuck, where does the time go? Dudley’s going to kill me if I’m late.” He hauled up his Xbox and turned back to Theo. “I have to go,” he offered regretfully. “Duty calls and all that.”

 

Theo nodded, trying not to look too disappointed. Perhaps, it was just as well. He had his own secrets to keep and he doubted Piers would understand them. Maybe, even less than Theo understood him. They came from such different worlds...it was best to just say goodbye here.

 

“I’d like to see you again, Theo. This was great.”

 

Theo’s head snapped up and he practically felt the blood draining from his face. What? Oh Merlin...

 

Piers was looking at him, uncharacteristically unsure and hesitant. “Can I have your number or something? Call you later, maybe?”

 

His number? Theo frowned as he wondered what that was. Then he remembered Piers’ rectangle. Maybe they came with numbers? Slowly, he shook his head. “Sorry,” he replied. “I don’t have one of...those.”

 

“Oh.” Piers looked a bit perplexed at that but he tried again. “Email?”

 

“Um...no. I don’t have that either.”

 

“Facebook? Twitter? Anything?”

 

Theo shook his head hopelessly. He could hardly give Piers his owl address or floo combination. Different worlds, indeed. It had never been clearer than at this moment. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, wishing he didn’t feel so useless.

 

Piers’ eyes clouded over. “Oh,” he replied. He stepped away from Theo, backing off a few paces. Theo stifled the urge to follow and close the distance. He really wanted to, but Piers was already backing away. He was still smiling but it wasn’t the bright, cheeky grin from before. It looked shaky and strained to Theo.

 

“Well, no worries,” Piers replied airily, shrugging in an obvious effort at nonchalance. He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded tersely. “I can take a hint and all that. You take care, Brown Eyes. Think of me when you’re playing COD.”

 

Theo watched as he turned away, feeling bereft and very lost all of a sudden. “Piers, wait…” he blurted.

 

But Piers was already gone, melting into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yes Daphne, I realise it’s a game!” Pansy snapped, holding _Call of Duty_ up against the light as if trying to reveal some sort of secret code. “I just don’t understand how one plays it.”

 

“Ask Theo,” Daphne replied in a bored tone. “He’s the one who brought it.”

 

Theo sighed wearily and turned to Pansy. “You have to hook it up to something called an Xbox. Then you hook the Xbox up to a…you know what? I _really_ don’t want to do this again. It’s not for you anyway. Potter knows what to do with it.”

 

“There’s no need to get hissy, Nott,” Pansy snapped. “Honestly, we all know _why_ you’re sulking but it’s time to move on, don’t you think?”

 

The room fell silent and the amiable atmosphere all but disappeared. Theo— who was already in a rather frazzled state of mind— bristled at the insinuation. She was obviously hinting at his thing with Draco and while there wasn’t an ounce of truth in it, the implication stung. Especially considering his experiences earlier in the day. Theo reared back, preparing to retaliate with something just as scathing. Fortunately, Draco stepped in to play peacemaker.

 

“Theo can sulk if he wants to,” he said coolly, shooting Pansy a warning look. “Merlin knows you’ve been badgering him about that game ever since he got here. Besides, Harry does know how to work it so there’s no need to make a whole thing out of it.”

 

Theo gave him a grateful smile and Draco nodded back. He was a good mate, all things considered. Theo regretted being so off at his housewarming party, but he just couldn’t get Piers out of his head. He really wished he could have explained himself, said something to the man before he took off like that. Then again, what could he have said? _By the way,_ _I’m a wizard? Watch me turn this sandwich into a tea cup?_ Piers would have run off screaming and then some.

 

“Fine,” Pansy grumbled, taking the subtle hint and settling back on the sofa. “Can we at least break out the drinks?”

 

“We’re just waiting for a few more people,” Potter replied. He was sitting next to Draco, arm firmly wrapped around him. It hadn’t escaped Theo’s notice that Potter’s arm had been around Draco ever since he had arrived, but he refused to dwell on it. Potter was the possessive sort, Draco had mentioned that often enough. He would have to see that Theo was not a threat in his own time. Theo was far too busy with his own problems to bother with Potter anyway.

 

“Do you really want your cousin here, Harry?” Granger asked suddenly. Next to her, Weasley made a face. Granger seemed to share his sentiments because she nodded and frowned. “I mean, the two of you never really got along.”

 

“He was a right prat,” Weasley spat, evidently unable to stop himself.

 

“He was,” Potter conceded. “But Dudley’s alright now, really. We’ve kept in touch and...it’s been okay. He’s really not like he used to be.”

 

“But Harry…” Granger protested.

 

“Look, we’re all grown-ups,” Potter said firmly. “I invited him and he agreed to come, and that’s that. If Draco can promise not to hex him as soon as he’s within wand range, I expect the two of you to behave as well.”

 

“I never promised,” Draco protested. Potter gave him a warning look and he grinned. “Oh, alright. I won’t hex your lout of a cousin. Even if I really want to.”

 

“No potions either,” Potter added, nudging him gently.

 

Draco subsided with a huff. “You’re no fun.” Then he turned to the rest of the group. “Oh, and speaking of Harry’s cousin, let’s cover a few basics, yes? He _does_ know a little something about magic but apparently, he’s bringing a friend over. Another muggle, obviously. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you…”

 

“No magic,” Pansy cut in. “We’re not idiots, Draco. One spell and we’ll have a whole Auror squad on our hands.”

 

“And I _really_ don’t want any innocent muggles Obliviated,” Potter replied. “So please, wands where nobody can see them, okay?”

 

Great. More muggles. Theo’s eyes drifted back to the Call of Duty disc. He wondered what Piers was doing right now…

 

A sudden knock on the door interrupted his maudlin musings. “That’s them,” Potter announced, getting up. “I’ll go see them in. Everyone just keep a low profile, yeah?”

 

* * *

 

 

Piers scowled as Dudley rapped sharply on the door. He was in a bad mood and that really didn’t do much for his people skills. Besides, he doubted Harry Potter would want to see him anyway. God, why was he even here?

 

“I’m going home,” he announced firmly. “Sorry Big D, I’m just not up to being my usual party animal self right now.”

 

Dudley fixed him with a sad, pleading look and Piers groaned. Such a big bloke should not be able to pull off the perfect puppy eyes. Seriously, even after losing all that weight — and with muscles as big as Piers’ neck, for crying out loud — Dudley still somehow managed to look like a sad Labrador. It was bloody unfair.

 

“Please?” Dudley whined. “I could really use some help here, Piers. I mean Harry’s okay, but I really don’t feel comfortable with this lot and…”

 

Piers frowned suspiciously. “You know, you keep saying ‘this lot’ like there’s something off about them,” he pointed out. “What’s wrong with them exactly?”

 

“Wha...wrong?” Dudley paled and fiddled with the strings of his jacket. “Nothing’s wrong with...why would you ask that?”

 

“Just the way you talk about them,” Piers replied. “Come on, Dudley. What is it? Is this some weird cult thing? I mean, your cousin was always a bit strange and…”

 

Dudley shook his head frantically. “No! It’s not...look, they’re just a bit different, that’s all.”

 

“Different how?”

 

“I’m really not supposed to talk about it,” Dudley whined. “Just...just come in with me, we’ll say hello and take off, okay? Please, Piers? We’re best friends, for crying out loud.”

 

Oh, for the love of god! Piers scowled but offered a curt nod. Dudley _was_ his best friend and apparently, he needed him here. Piers could survive a few hours with some weirdos. Besides, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do than go home and sulk.

 

Although in all fairness, he deserved a good sulk. He really thought he’d hit it off with that cute bloke at the mall. It was all going so well and then he’d been blown off so thoroughly, Piers was honestly surprised he was still standing.

 

Serve him right for trying to pull someone at the bloody mall in the first place, really. Still, Theo was so cute and Piers had been so sure they’d had something for a minute there...it just stung a bit, that was all.

 

Whatever. Piers could roll with the punches. So when the door clicked open, he wrestled a cheery expression on his face as best as he could.

 

The next second, Harry Potter was standing in front of him. “Dudley,” he grinned cheerfully. “Glad you could make it, mate.”

 

“Hi, Harry,” Dudley greeted. “You remember Piers, right?”

 

Harry turned to him and Piers tried not to cringe. Bloody hell, he had gotten _tall_. Fit, too. The man worked out, apparently. Right, note to self: Do not pick on Potter anymore. He still had the glasses though, and his hair had obviously not seen a comb since 1995. Some things never changed...

 

“Piers,” Harry greeted, sounding a lot less pleased to see him. That made sense. His last memories of Piers could hardly be pleasant.

 

Well, time to make amends then.

 

“Harry,” Piers greeted, holding his hand out. “Congrats on the new place. Thanks for inviting me. Oh, and this is for me being a right wanker when we were kids. Enjoy.” He thrust the Xbox into a surprised Harry’s arms and waited for the verdict.

 

Harry took one look at his present and grinned in delight. “Thanks,” he replied, finally shaking Piers’ hand. “Consider yourself officially forgiven.”

 

“It’s from me too,” Dudley added, not wanting to be left out.

 

Harry laughed and ushered them indoors, perfectly pleasant again. Piers sighed in relief. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad…

 

“Come on in and meet the rest of the group,” Harry said, as he took them to the living room.

 

Piers stepped in and froze. He literally stopped in his tracks as a pair of familiar, brown eyes caught his attention from across the room.

 

On second thought, this would be bad. Very bad, indeed.

 

* * *

 

 

Theo was vaguely aware that Potter was making introductions. Everyone was nodding and smiling, politely participating in the meet and greet. But he just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the man who had entered the small living room, almost shadowed by his hulking blond companion.

 

Bloody hell, what were the _odds?_

 

Piers seemed just as stunned to see him. His eyes were wide and unblinking as he stared unabashedly at Theo. Theo flushed at the blatant scrutiny and forced himself to look away. He needed a second to collect himself. Making a production out of it wasn’t going to help him or Piers and this would be awkward enough.

 

“...Hermione and Daphne,” Potter finished. “Everyone, this is my cousin, Dudley.”

 

Dudley — presumably that brick wall of a blond fidgeting next to Piers — raised a hand in shy greeting. “Hi,” he said, nodding at the small group.

 

“My word, Potter,” Pansy spoke up, eyeing Dudley with apparent approval. “You never mentioned your cousin was so...well…”

 

“Buff,” Daphne put in, sidling over as well and subtly nudging Pansy out of the way. “Take a look at those muscles. Do you work out?”

 

Dudley seemed about as stunned as the rest of them at this sudden development. He exchanged a bewildered look with Potter before turning back to the girls. “I’m with the police force,” he managed. “We do a lot of training.”

 

“The police, did you say?” Pansy chirped, resolutely ignoring Daphne’s dark glare as she closed in. “Is that anything like the Aurors?”

 

“The what?” Piers asked, his attention snapping back at the unusual word.

  
 Theo stiffened but Draco was already on damage control. “Harry, you’re being rude,” he chided, smoothly deflecting any more uncomfortable questions. “We haven’t met Dudley’s friend yet.”

 

“Of course,” Potter blurted, hastily ushering Piers forward. “Everyone, meet Piers Polkiss. We’ve known each other a while. Piers, this is…”

 

“I think I got them all,” Piers replied with a shrug. “Let’s see. Pansy and Daphne, was it? Be nice to my friend. He scares easy.” They giggled and went back to fawning over a scarlet Dudley. Piers turned back to the rest of the group. “And of course, that’s Draco. Well bloody done, Harry.”

 

“I like him,” Draco smirked. “Someone get that man a drink.”

 

Theo smiled as the rest of the group laughed. He had to hand it to Piers; the man could work a  room. “Ron and Hermione,” Piers went on, greeting them with a nod. “Charmed. And of course…” He trailed off and Theo’s breath hitched as those dark eyes turned on him again.

 

“Theo,” Piers finished quietly. “Nice seeing you again, Brown Eyes.”

 

“You too,” Theo whispered. Piers smiled, but the look in his eyes spoke of hurt. Theo’s heart clenched painfully. Merlin, he wanted to explain himself so badly. But how could he even begin to…

 

“You two know each other.” Draco’s voice was politely enquiring but he wasn’t asking a question. Theo realised that everyone was staring at him and Piers rather intently now.

 

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “We...ran into each other earlier today,” he explained, giving Draco a meaningful glance. _No more questions._

 

“Oh,” Draco replied neutrally. “Small world.” He said nothing else but his quizzical eyes drifted from Piers to Theo and back again. Potter and Dudley looked flummoxed, Granger was frowning as if trying to work something out in her head and Merlin, Theo just wished he could run out the door right now. The silent tension was stifling, almost choking him and…

 

He jumped when Piers clapped his hands purposefully. “Always nice to meet old friends, isn’t it?” he declared cheerily. “Now, how about we get this party started? We’ve got an Xbox and I spy _Call of Duty_ over there. Who’s up for a quick game?”

 

He frowned as his announcement was met by perplexed silence. “You lot don’t know how to play either, do you?” he asked flatly. There was some uncomfortably mumbling and shrugging. Piers just looked stunned. “How is that even...you know what, never mind. Come along, children. I’m gonna show you a whole new world.”

 

He didn’t even look at Theo as he went about setting up the equipment.

 

* * *

There was no doubt about it. Piers was avoiding him like the plague. Theo sighed and sprawled back on the couch, sipping his drink. He tried not to stare at the man sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the ‘television’, trying to teach Weasley and Granger how to play. Still, his eyes drifted over now and then.

 

Theo bit the inside of his cheek and went back to watching Pansy and Daphne. Those two were inches from a cat fight over a very lost Dudley. That should be entertaining...

 

He barely looked up when the couch dipped next to him. Draco tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “Well, I see you’re having a good time,” he quipped.

 

Theo smiled apologetically. “Sorry,” he replied. “I was just thinking.”

 

From the corner of his eye, he spotted Potter watching them like a hawk. Theo rolled his eyes. “Could you maybe sit over there?” he asked Draco. “I really don’t need your jealous boyfriend glaring daggers at me right now.”

 

Draco waved him off. “Harry can handle himself for a bit,” he said firmly. “You’re my friend, Theo. I want to know that you’re alright.”

 

“I am,” Theo muttered, going back to glaring at his drink. “Just peachy.”

 

“So I see,” Draco replied dryly. “And your sunny disposition wouldn’t have anything to do with the muggle over there, would it?”

 

Theo chose not to dignify that with a response. Draco rolled his eyes. “You know, I won’t say that throwing my lot in with a Gryffindor doesn’t have its downsides but I _have_ learnt a few things from Harry. For example, we Slytherins tend to complicate things by thinking too much. Did you know that? Not everything needs such careful consideration. Some things...well, they’re just that simple.”

 

Theo gave him an unconvinced look. “How in Merlin’s name is this not complicated?” he demanded. “What am I supposed to say to him, Draco? How is he going to take it when he finds out how different we are? It...it can’t work, okay?”

 

“You don’t know that,” Draco told him. “Besides, no one said you need to put all your cards on the table at once. Take your time, if you really need to. He looks like a good sort. I think he’ll understand...if and when you plan to tell him.”

 

“Draco, I can’t…”

 

“Theo, the alternative is sitting back, letting him go and never knowing what happened. If you’re okay with that, there’s nothing I can say to change your mind. But I really don’t think you are.”

 

Draco got up and left him to his thoughts, joining Potter in the corner. Potter smiled and pulled him over, whispering something in his ear. Draco rolled his eyes but he put his head on Potter’s shoulder, leaning into him. It was nice, what they had. Comfortable. Intimate.

 

Theo wondered if he and Piers could have ever ended up that way. It was just wishful thinking, though. They were just _too_ different and Theo was a realist. Nothing would ever come out of his attraction to the cheerful, easy going muggle, he knew that.

 

But...surely, he could at least explain himself? Piers didn’t need to know everything but the least Theo could do was make it clear that _he_ was the one with the issues here. The man deserved that, at least.

 

So, he took a deep breath and approached the little group. Piers caught his eye and nodded as he got up. “Hang in there, Ron,” he said, taking his leave. “You’ll beat her score someday.”

 

“He wishes,” Granger replied, offing another soldier like a pro.

 

Piers padded over and smiled at Theo. “You doing alright?” he asked. Theo nodded back, wishing he could put his very mixed feelings into words. Piers obviously interpreted his silence as something else, because his shoulders slumped and he sighed. “Right, well I don’t really do awkward very well, so I’m going to take off and…”

 

“Don’t go,” Theo blurted. He really, really didn’t want Piers to leave. Not like this. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said softly.

 

“No?” Piers replied, sounding a bit annoyed now. He pursed his lips and his brow drew down in a scowl. “Because so far, everything you’ve done kind of gives me the opposite impression.”

 

“Piers, I…”

 

“Call me a cynic Theo, but I find it hard to believe that in this day and age, a person can actually function without an email or a phone number. I can only assume you don’t want to see me again. And that’s fine, really. I just wish...god, I just wished you’d said it to my face, you know?”

 

“It’s not like that,” Theo protested. “This is hard for me, okay? There are things you don’t know about me and…”

 

“I saw you, you know.”

 

Theo trailed off. “What?”

 

Piers sneered and gestured at Draco. “Talking with Tall Blond and Handsome over there. Judging from how Harry was glaring, I’m guessing you used to be an item?”

 

Theo sighed and ran a tired hand through his hair. “That was a long time ago.”

 

“Yes, well. That clears it up,” Piers muttered. He sounded bitter. “If _that’s_ your type, I didn’t really stand a chance did I?”

 

“Piers, no. It’s…”

 

“No, I get it. It’s fine. Why on earth would someone like you want to be with someone like me anyway? It’s all good, Theo. You really don’t have to explain yourself.”

 

“Yes, I do!” Theo snapped. “You’ve got it all wrong!” He was going to have to say something now. Even if Piers was shocked— even if he reacted badly— Theo couldn’t possibly let him go thinking like that.

 

“Go on then,” Piers challenged. “Explain it to me. No really, Theo. Surprise me.”

 

Right. Theo took a deep breath. Cards on the table, then. “Okay,” he began. “I know this might sound a bit strange but I’m…”

 

“I said **back off** , Daphne!”

 

“You back off, _Pansy!_ ”

 

The ruckus broke out around them, drowning out his explanation. Theo turned with the rest of the guests, his eyes widening at the sight of Pansy and Daphne glaring daggers at each other.

 

“I saw him first!” Daphne screeched.

 

“He doesn’t _want_ you!” Pansy screamed back. “He said he wants to take _me_ out to dinner!”

 

“He did **not!** ”

 

Dudley stood on the sidelines, watching the scrapping girls like a deer in headlights. “Ladies, please…” he attempted.

 

“Be quiet!” Pansy and Daphne snarled together before turning on each other. Dudley cowered and fell silent.

 

“You are _such_ a slag!” Daphne hissed. Theo noticed that her fingers were itching, a sure sign that she wanted to go for her wand. Oh, that was not good. He tried to get Draco’s attention but his friend was already with Potter, trying to defuse the tension.

 

“Girls, come on,” Potter placated. “Dudley doesn’t mind taking both of you out. Do you, Dudley?”

 

“Er…”

 

“That’s not the point!” Pansy hissed. “She just wants him because I have him! That’s what she does, the little bitch!”

 

“You **don’t** have him!” Daphne snapped. “Why would he even want you and your fat arse in the first place?”

 

Pansy’s sharp intake of breath mingled with the collective gasp from the rest of the room. Theo cringed and Piers muttered something that sounded like _‘ooh, **burn** ’._

 

“Say that again,” Pansy growled, her voice low and dangerous.

 

“ _Don’t_ say it again,” Draco advised quickly.

 

But Daphne wasn’t listening. Her blood was up and she was going for the kill. She smirked and flicked her hair back, staring Pansy down as she repeated those two ominous words.

 

“Fat. Arse.”

 

Pansy’s lip curled and her fingers twitched. “You know, Daphne,” she hissed. “I’m getting _really_ tired of your squawking.”

 

And then she whipped out her wand.

 

There was a flash of light. Theo had about one second to think about how _incredibly_ bad this was and then there was a flapping, furious hen squawking and screeching where Daphne had been standing a second ago. Dudley yelped, Potter groaned, Draco face-palmed and Piers...well, Piers just about lost it.

 

“Holy **shit!** ” he screeched, backing away frantically. “Holy shit holy shit holy **shit!** ”

 

“Oh, bloody wonderful,” Draco grumbled.

 

“That...the... **chicken!** ” Piers yelled. He pointed a shaky finger at Daphne, eyes wide as saucers. “ **Chicken!** That girl just turned _that_ girl into a bleeding **chicken!** ”

 

Daphne squawked angrily and flapped her wings. Clearly, she was as peeved about this as Piers was. Dudley groaned and held his head in his hands. Theo really wished he could do the same.

 

“Damn it, Pansy!” Potter growled, turning on the sulking girl. “We asked you to do one thing! One thing!”

 

“She started it,” Pansy grumbled.

 

 **“Chicken!”** Piers screeched again.

 

“Really, Pansy,” Draco drawled. “Couldn’t you have tried a little restraint for once in your life? This is bloody awful, I’ll have you know.”

 

“But, Draco! She did start it…”

 

Piers had reached the end of his rope. “Does _anybody_ care that that girl is **still a chicken?!** ” he howled.

 

Draco sighed and pulled out his own wand, effortlessly undoing the spell. Daphne glared as she picked herself off the floor, plucking feathers off her hair and dress. “Bitch,” she sneered at Pansy.

 

“Do _not_ start that again!” Hermione scolded. “Both of you! Do you realise what just happened? You just did magic in front of a muggle! The Aurors will be here any second and...”

 

“Magic?” Piers blurted. “That...did she just say... _magic?!_ So...so you’re...and you’re…and all of you...”

 

Theo groaned. This was _not_ the way he’d intended to introduce the subject. Piers was clearly putting the pieces together in his head. His gaze travelled from Daphne to Pansy to Draco and back to Daphne again...and then he centred on Potter.

 

“You **bastard!** ” he snarled, pointing accusingly at him. “It all makes sense now! You did _too_ set a snake on me when we were kids!”

 

“I did not!” Potter protested.

 

“Harry!” Granger scolded.

 

“I did _not!_ ” Potter repeated. “Well, not on purpose…”

 

“Fuck you!” Piers yelled. “Give me back my Xbox!”

 

“No need to be rash now,” Weasley put in hurriedly. Apparently, he had grown quite fond of the Box of Infinite Wonder and Mystery.

 

“Piers, calm down,” Theo pleaded, putting a steady hand on his shaking shoulder. Merlin, he looked wrecked. How was Theo ever going to fix this?

 

“Calm down?” Piers echoed, gaping at him. “ _Calm down?!_ I will calm the fuck down when someone sits me down and explains why the **fuck** people are turning people into chickens! And…”

 

He trailed off and blinked at Theo, as if seeing him for the first time. “You,” he whispered. “You can do it too. Can’t you? You’re magical too.”

 

Theo’s shoulder slumped in defeat. “I...yes,” he sighed.

 

“Oh my **god!** ”

 

“Piers, please let me…”

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Draco cut in, not sounding very sorry at all. Theo glared at him. This was _so_ not the time. But Draco held his gaze firmly, willing him to listen. “In case everyone’s forgotten, we just cast a _spell_ in front of a _muggle_.”

 

“What did he call me? Is that some sort of magic insult?”

 

Draco ignored him, still addressing Theo. “The Aurors will be here any second.” Theo’s eyes widened. Shit, he had forgotten about that. Draco thankfully, had not. “Unless you want them to Obliviate him, I’d suggest you do something and fast.”

 

“Obliviate?” Piers echoed, sounding panicked. “What does that mean? What’s he talking about?!”

 

“No,” Theo growled. “No one’s touching him.” He wasn’t going to let that happen.

 

“They can’t obliviate him if he’s not here,” Potter added firmly. “As far as we’re concerned, he was never here at all. They’ll never know. So long as he doesn’t say anything, they’ve got no reason to wipe his brain.”

 

“Wipe my **what?!** ” Piers howled. “ _Fuck_ no!”

 

“No one’s going to touch you, I promise,” Theo said, grabbing hold of him firmly. He held Piers’ gaze firmly, trying his best to reassure him. “I _promise_ , Piers.”

 

Piers looked pale and shaky but he nodded. Okay. Okay, this was good. At least he still trusted Theo…

 

“Go,” Draco ordered. “Apparate now. They’re seconds away, I can feel the wards shifting.”

 

“Wait!” Piers yelped. “What about Dudley?”

 

Dudley shrugged. “They know that I know,” he explained. “They won’t do anything to me. I even met a few of them when Harry moved out for good. Nice people, actually.”

 

Piers glared at him. “We are going to have a _serious_ talk about why best mates don’t keep secrets from each other later,” he snapped. “So you’re staying then?”

 

Dudley grinned happily. “Two pretty birds are fighting over me. What do you think?”

 

Piers rolled his eyes and nodded at Theo. “Fine, I’m set. Hocus Pocus me out of here and away from the magic zombies who want to bleach my brain. God, I never thought I’d have to use that sentence in my life...”

 

Theo nodded and pulled him closer. “Trust me, okay?” he whispered. “And don’t let go.”

 

Piers’ grip tightened on his shirt and Theo apparated.

 

* * *

 

Theo had never been so grateful for a flat of his own. As much as he enjoyed Nott Manor’s elegant luxury and opulence, he really didn’t think Piers would handle the concepts of house-elves and moving portraits very well in his current state.

 

They apparated into Theo’d bedroom with a sharp crack. Theo barely staggered but Piers’ knees buckled and he staggered to the floor, wheezing and coughing. Theo knelt down next to him, patting his back soothingly. “Deep breaths,” he advised. “It’ll pass.”

 

“You could have mentioned that we were going out _Star Trek_ style!” Piers managed through a spate of coughing. He finally recovered enough to fix Theo with a glare. “Also, a little heads up on the magic thing would have been nice!”

 

Theo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Piers, think about it please. What could I have possibly said or done to make it easier for you? Chances were you wouldn’t have believed me at all. Or worse, you’d have run away screaming.”

 

“Thinking about it now, actually,” Piers grumbled sullenly.

 

Theo’s heart clenched painfully but he nodded. “I understand. You’ve...you’ve been through a lot because of me. You really shouldn’t have to deal with this and...I’m sorry, Piers. I really am. If you like, I’ll take you back and...and I won’t bother you again.” It hurt, but he got it. They were just too different. How could he expect Piers to deal with this? No one should have to.

 

But Piers shook his head. “No,” he said, blinking slowly. “No, just...don’t do that. Give me a minute here. You can’t put a bloke through something like that and expect him to be all _oh, alright then_ about it. Just…let me wrap my head around this, okay?”

 

Theo nodded and sat down next to him in silence. Piers took his time but he waited patiently. Hopefully, almost.

 

Finally, Piers turned to look at him. “Show me,” he ordered.

 

Theo blinked, somewhat taken aback. “Are you sure?” he asked tentatively. “The last bit of magic you saw sort of messed with your head.”

 

Piers gave him a flat look. “I think I need to see it to believe it,” he explained. “That being said, if you turn me into a chicken, I will claw your eyes out.”

 

Theo chuckled at the mental image and nodded his acquiescence. He pulled his wand out slowly and carefully, making sure to keep it within Piers’ line of sight at all times. “Ready?” he asked finally. Piers nodded and Theo cast a Lumos.

 

“Whoa!” Piers whispered.

 

The orb of golden light floated gently above them, casting a soft glow in the room. Piers’ eyes were wide and glinted as they reflected the light. For a second, he just stared. Then he extended a careful hand to touch the orb. It bounced off his fingers and shimmered, sending waves through the room. Theo smiled. It was such a simple spell and normally he wouldn’t think twice about it, but seeing it through Piers’ eyes...well, it really was a beautiful thing.

 

“That is _trippy_ ,” Piers whispered. He didn’t sound scared or alarmed. His voice was filled with wonder and his eyes were large and excited as a child’s when he turned back to Theo. “Do something else!”

 

“Like what?” Theo asked, letting a bit of amusement slip into his voice.

 

“I don’t know! Anything!”

 

Theo considered it for a while. Then he conjured some canaries. Piers laughed as one of the birds flew down and landed on his shoulder, trilling affectionately at him. “Jesus,” he whispered reverently. “Did you _do_ that?”

 

“It’s not just pretty lights and party tricks,” Theo told him, waving his wand again to vanish the birds. “Magic can be useful too. Sometimes...dangerous.” He really didn’t want to talk about the war yet. They would have to at some point— if this was to go anywhere. But perhaps now was not the best time.

 

Then again, Piers seemed to understand. He slipped his hand into Theo’s. “Well that depends on you, doesn’t it?”

 

Theo’s heart surged at those seven words. It was such a simple thing to say and yet so profound. A quiet vote of confidence, of trust. Theo had needed to hear it for so long but Piers was the one to give it to him. Easily. Effortlessly. Like he did everything else.

 

Theo kissed him. He hadn’t planned to. He had fully intended to give Piers some time to come to terms with this. But just being here, sitting with him, talking to him...somehow, Theo _knew_ it was special. It was different and terrifying and just bloody perfect. Piers’ lips felt so _good_ under his and his slim body felt so nice pressed up against Theo’s...this was real. It was. He could feel it in his gut.

 

“I know,” Piers whispered. Theo wasn’t sure that he had said anything out loud at all. But he realised that with Piers, it didn’t matter. Piers just... _knew_ what he was thinking. And damn, that should scare him but it didn’t. All it did was make him want to pull Piers even closer, keep him closer and not let him go ever.

 

And a small part of him was still reeling at the thought of how close he had come to never meeting this man. If he had just decided not to go to that store or to Draco’s party or made the slightest change to his plan whatsoever, their paths would have never crossed. But they had. They had found each other somehow. Against all odds, Theo had found someone smart and attractive and exciting and _right_ for him.

 

He owed Draco a world of thanks for this, he knew that. Maybe he could start by taking his friend’s advice. Some things were just that simple, right? Well, Theo was going to find out.

 

“Stay with me?” he whispered.

 

He felt Piers’ smile against his lips. “I’d like that,” he whispered back.

 

**END**


End file.
